5 ways you can prove youre not worth of trust in less than 10 seconds

5 ways you can prove youre not worth of trust in less than 10 seconds5 ways you can prove youre not worth of trust in less than 10 secondsKnowing whom to trust is an important social and business skill. But its not that simple although it is fast. It took me only seven seconds to assess your confidence, competence, status, likeability, warmth, and, yes, your trustworthiness.You cant stop me (or anyone, for that matter) from making these snap decisions. The menschenwrdig brain is wired that way.Whenever we meet new people, our brain automatically and immediately begins to categorize them in some way male or female, same or different, friend or foe in order to predict what is likely to happen next. Because few of us have the mental agility to consciously perceive and process all the factors needed to make these calculations, we rely on estimates, or guesses, based on our past experiences and preconceptions. While these mental shortcuts work reasonably well most of the time, they als o leave us vulnerable to a variety of judgment traps.When I decided not to trust you, my snap judgment was influenced by the category I put you in and the traits I assigned to that category. In your case, I labeled you as untrustworthy for five reasons - none of which had anything to do with your actual trustworthiness.1. You werent like meThere is a well-known principle in social psychology that people define themselves in terms of social groupings Any group that people feel part of is an in-group and any group that excludes them an out-group. (You know, its the us and them division.)Similarities make us feel comfortable. We assume we know what in-group people are like theyre good people, like we are. Differences, on the other hand, make us a little wary. When we see people as part of an out-group, we are more likely to judge them as untrustworthy.Because you didnt remind me of myself, I saw you as part of the less trustworthy out-group.2. You behaved suspiciouslyWe all have a te ndency to make judgments about another persons integrity based on our ideas of appropriate behavior. This shows up in lie detection when we believe that we know how wed act if we were telling the truth and that other truthful people would/should behave the same way.You didnt act the way I would when we met. When you said you were happy to meet me, you didnt smile or offer to shake my hand. Because of this off-putting behavior, I became suspicious of your motives.3. You had low eyebrowsBy studying peoples reactions to a range of artificially generated faces, researchers in Princetons psychology department found that faces with high inner eyebrows, pronounced cheekbones, and a wide chin struck people as trustworthy. Conversely, faces with low inner brows, shallow cheekbones and a thin chin were deemed untrustworthy.Of course, I realize that eyebrow shapes and cheekbone prominence have no relationship with trustworthiness. But the moment I saw you, I unconsciously overrode my rational mind to make this instinctive judgment.4. You didnt make eye contactThe biggest body language myth about deception is that liars avoid eye contact. While its true that some liars find it difficult to lie while looking you in the eyes, other liars, especially the most brazen, actually overcompensate to prove that they are being truthful by making strong, direct eye contact and holding it steadily.You may have been shy, or an introvert, or from a culture in which direct eye contact is considered intimidating or impolite. But all I noticed was that you didnt look at me when you spoke, and that made me think you were being deceptive or, at least, not authentically invested in what you were saying.5. You had your hands in your pocketsHand and arm gestures are not only an adjunct to speech gesturing may have been our oldest method of communication. Researchers now believe that early humans communicated using a form of mime. Somewhere in our evolutionary history speech took over from gest ure as the main form of communication, but gesture still retains its power as illustrators and trust indicators.While I would have evaluated your open palm gestures as a nonverbal signal that you had nothing to hide, your concealed hands made it difficult for me to trust you.But now that I know you, I see that you are candid, honest, and highly trustworthy. Ive learned that deciding whether or not to trust someone by the initial impression they make, is a process that can, and often should, be revised.Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an international keynote speaker and leadership presence coach. Shes the author of The Silent Language of Leaders How Body Language Can Help or Hurt How You Lead and creator of LinkedInLearnings video series Body Language for Leaders. For more information, visithttps//CarolKinseyGoman.com